BTS: week 4 Throwing Out The Scale

I step on the scale and see another 2 lbs gone and I immediately feel like a failure. ONLY -2lbs? I begin to feel my heart get heavy and I want to cry.

And this is why I am throwing out the scale.

I am not allowing a scale to have that much power over my emotions. So, bye Felicia!

When I started this entire journey, it was about SO much more than my size. I wanted to love myself at every weight and at every stage of my weight loss journey. And yet, I’m in my bathroom almost crying because I “only” lost another 2 lbs. (after being on the road and not at home for 10 days.)

The beautiful thing is…I have come SO far mentally/emotionally when it comes to accepting my body as it is. This process of stepping out from behind the perfectly angled selfie, hiding all my flaws, is working because I have never felt so beautiful…so free.

I am more and more proud of the woman I see in photos and in the mirror.

I have a long ways to go still in the weight department but I’m still on the journey. My husband and I are about to start our new workout routine too. I have yet to get into the gym since starting this so that’ll be so good for dropping pounds.

The point is, if you don’t fix your heart and what’s keeping you insecure and down on yourself, it’ll never matter how tiny you get. You’ll always find something wrong with your looks and body. The more I have dug deep, dealt with past pain and insecurity, and the more I am just living this abundant life Jesus has blessed me with…the prettier I feel.

And I give all glory to God.

My best friend Jaala said something to me while I was with her this past week. “Deliverance will never replace Discipline.”

This journey will never end for me. It’ll look differently but never end. I will continually have to take my thoughts captive, not open doors to allow satan to have a foothold in my life, not agree with the lies and insecurities I have believed for so long…I have to tackle this daily. But wow is it worth it.

So, we’re throwing out the scale and I am just focusing on eating well, working out, and continuing to allow God to work in me.

My prayer is that we can all stop focusing so much on a number, the number on the scale or on the little tag on your pants, and focus on being healthy and living abundantly.

Have an amazing week my sweet friends.

 

 

6 COMMENTS

  1. Erin | 12th Nov 17

    THIS! Love every word here! You are gorgeous and God is doing such a magnificent work in you and through you! Love and hugs!

  2. Kristen Johnson | 13th Nov 17

    Awesome, Jill! I relate so much. The thoughts defeating me, trying to ask for deliverance so I don’t have to engage discipline… yep, I get it.

  3. Lacy | 14th Nov 17

    The scale does the opposite of motivate me when it just measures pounds.

  4. Rose | 14th Nov 17

    Good for you in realizing and accepting that who you are is so much more. I don’t own a scale at all but if I did the problem would be me using it all the time. Now having said that I do get on it at the gym. Not everyday but once and awhile. I applaud a weight loss but inches make me happier! Focus on staying healthy. P.S. muscle weighs more so you could have only lost 2 lbs because you were gaining musle. I have more curves due to muscle defintion. I love seeing people post their weights and the one with more weight and musle is higher but looks better then before. Good luck to you.

  5. Katie Bressler | 14th Nov 17

    Thank you for such an important message. I think throwing out the scale is important…as long as you are making healthy choices, that is what makes a difference!

  6. Angie | 16th Nov 17

    This is so beautiful as so are you! We need to stop letting our weight define us and just love ourselves. As long as we are healthy and taking care of our bodies that’s all that matters.

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