I step on the scale and see another 2 lbs gone and I immediately feel like a failure. ONLY -2lbs? I begin to feel my heart get heavy and I want to cry.
And this is why I am throwing out the scale.
I am not allowing a scale to have that much power over my emotions. So, bye Felicia!
When I started this entire journey, it was about SO much more than my size. I wanted to love myself at every weight and at every stage of my weight loss journey. And yet, I’m in my bathroom almost crying because I “only” lost another 2 lbs. (after being on the road and not at home for 10 days.)
The beautiful thing is…I have come SO far mentally/emotionally when it comes to accepting my body as it is. This process of stepping out from behind the perfectly angled selfie, hiding all my flaws, is working because I have never felt so beautiful…so free.
I am more and more proud of the woman I see in photos and in the mirror.
I have a long ways to go still in the weight department but I’m still on the journey. My husband and I are about to start our new workout routine too. I have yet to get into the gym since starting this so that’ll be so good for dropping pounds.
The point is, if you don’t fix your heart and what’s keeping you insecure and down on yourself, it’ll never matter how tiny you get. You’ll always find something wrong with your looks and body. The more I have dug deep, dealt with past pain and insecurity, and the more I am just living this abundant life Jesus has blessed me with…the prettier I feel.
And I give all glory to God.
My best friend Jaala said something to me while I was with her this past week. “Deliverance will never replace Discipline.”
This journey will never end for me. It’ll look differently but never end. I will continually have to take my thoughts captive, not open doors to allow satan to have a foothold in my life, not agree with the lies and insecurities I have believed for so long…I have to tackle this daily. But wow is it worth it.
So, we’re throwing out the scale and I am just focusing on eating well, working out, and continuing to allow God to work in me.
My prayer is that we can all stop focusing so much on a number, the number on the scale or on the little tag on your pants, and focus on being healthy and living abundantly.
Have an amazing week my sweet friends.