BTS: week1 : OBSESSED WITH PRETTY

Week 1 updates at the bottom of the post.

Have you ever hidden from cameras at outings or events because you do not want to be in photos?

Have you decided not to go to an event or outing because you don’t want other people to see you?

Has someone ever said something about your appearance, it hurt you, and you replay it over and over in your mind?

Im pretty sure every woman (and guy) has dealt with some form of the above scenarios at some time or another in their life. Some of us deal with our insecurities much more than others.

Let’s talk about the importance a lot, if not most, of us feel with being seen as pretty.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this since I am starting this journey of self-acceptance and digging deep into my own feelings.

First question to ask yourself: Do you care if someone sees you as unattractive?

My first thought is no but then I really think about it and my truthful answer is actually yes.

If I didn’t care if people, whoever they are, find me pretty then I wouldn’t cringe when someone takes my picture and worse, posts it on social media…and even worse than that, tags me! lol.

I think it’s normal to want to be attractive. The problem starts when we become affected and make choices based on the opinions of others…especially those negative opinions.

Let’s break this down to help you see why caring if someone finds you pretty or not is kinda silly.

Are you attracted to every single person you see?

Of course not. We’re all interested in different physical features and even the most beautiful celebrities aren’t attractive to everyone. It’s just not realistic to believe that every person should find you pretty.

And so I thought deeper.

Does my husband find me pretty?

Let’s put it this way, I looked like the hottest mess the other night and he was totally giving me the “let’s get to bed” vibes. lol. He thinks I am BEAUTIFUL.

And I know not everyone reading this is married or in a committed relationship but this is a valid point. If you ARE married or dating, WHY do you need people of the opposite sex to find you physically attractive?

No judgement, just asking.

Because if your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend finds you stunning, then no one else’s opinion is needed. You don’t need the validation from the men at church, your work, at the store, your guy friends, strangers on social media, etc. Same goes to you males reading this. And I believe a strong argument can be made that if you’re seeking the approval for your attractiveness in anyone other then your significant other…RED FLAG my sweet friend. That’s a sure way to get into a bad situation.

And lastly, Do you think you’re pretty?

Your answer may honestly be NO but lets break down both answers.

If you do think you’re pretty, then what’s the problem? If YOU like yourself, why do you need someone else to put their stamp of approval on you? Confidence comes from a foundation of truth. Someone’s opinion shouldn’t be able to shake that foundation so easily. Own your confidence by not allowing the fear of someone not finding you pretty hurt you. If they don’t think you’re pretty, so what?

If you honestly do not think you’re pretty…oh my sweet friend. Who told you otherwise? What hurtful words do you replay in your head that keeps you believing that you’re unattractive? Opinions do not = truth. Society may have said, on repeat, that you’re not pretty because you do not look like their standard of beauty. But let’s be real, society NEEDS to keep you feeling ugly because they are always trying to sell you something to make you better. It’s lies and it’s opinions that do not define you! FAT does not = ugly. Ha! One of the biggest lies. Fat just means fat. It means you have more weight on your body, that’s all. You still have a smile, and features that some people would LOVE to have. What are some things about your appearance that you do like?

We need to stop living our lives, making certain choices, hoping other people find us pretty.

They do or they don’t. Its nothing more than someone else’s opinion and in the end, does their opinion really really matter?

It doesn’t. It absolutely doesn’t.

Your choice to live freely and abundantly in your skin is SOOOO much more important than someone looking at you and thinking you aren’t attractive. We need to stop giving others so much power in our lives.

No more hiding from people. Wear the swimsuit, be in the picture, don’t not wear cute clothes because you’re afraid of what people will think, stop waiting for some dream weight to accept yourself, go to the party, spend time with friends, put yourself out there.

I also want to mention that I promise no one thinks about YOUR looks like you do. We can have a really bad habit of taking our own negative self-thoughts and acting like everyone else believes those same things about us. It’s not true. Don’t let your insecurities speak for other people.

And to close this…

People care more about how you make them feel. Your heart is where your beauty flows from. The prettiest woman can be seen as ugly if she has a mean and selfish character/personality.

So lets stop caring so much what other people think. Own your beauty and spend more time focusing inward. P.S. God says that thats what He focuses on anyways…1 Samuel 16:7.

WEEK 1 UPDATE.

  • No weigh in. I decided to wait another week because we didn’t start keto until the end of this week. I will weigh in for next weeks post.
  • Started the Keto Diet.
  • Bought a feelings/food journal.
  • Started a support group on FB for women on the same or similar journey. *Let me know if you’d like to join*
  • Said goodbye to my favorite bad foods. lol
  • Struggled with meal prep and even settled for Burger King when I should’ve just made a healthy meal. :/
  • Started praying before I get dressed. I want my outward appearance to be secondary to what my main focus should be and that’s to represent Christ well with my life.
  • I’ve taken more pics with my children this week then I have in a while, which they love and I do too. 😉

“See ya” next Sunday for my week 2 update.

 

 

16 COMMENTS

  1. Erin | 22nd Oct 17

    This is SUCH an incredible series. I am learning SO much and definitely want to be in your Facebook group! You are encouraging and uplifting while also convicting. That’s the perfect combo as we all need those things. Proud of what you are doing here and look forward to your words each week. Lots of love, your #SoulSister

    • Jillian | 22nd Oct 17

      I’ll def add you and you are totally my soul sister. I appreciate you so much. xoxo.

  2. stephanie | 22nd Oct 17

    I love seeing more photos of you and more realness! This is fantastic, I can’t believe how crazy similar it is to my revelation this week of ‘perfectionism’ and our outer appearance! Swear we are meant to be blogger pals haha. This is such a great journey I am so happy and so proud of you! There will be moments it’s tough but it’s so worth the journey! Keep it coming girl!

    • Jillian | 22nd Oct 17

      lol, I was thinking the same thing. God definitely had us cross paths for a reason. Iron sharpens iron. <3 You're awesome. xoxo.

  3. Erin Ruscel | 23rd Oct 17

    Jillian! This is such a great and true post! Feeling beautiful is something we all deal with and I know I have struggled with this many times! Even though I know my husband finds me attractive, it is a struggle sometimes to believe and I think it is because of the way I view beauty. I have gotten a lot better over the last couple years, but I still have to remind myself of all the truths you mentioned and that I am a daughter of God. I have to place my identity in Him.

  4. Rachael Musser | 23rd Oct 17

    I love this post so much! There is so much truth being spoken. I went through this realization after having kids. It took me a bit to accept my body, but it’s so freeing to finally be happy with who you are, not matter what you look like.

  5. Morgan | 23rd Oct 17

    Jillian, this is a lovely and REAL post! I am, sadly, many of the things that you spoke of…worried what others may think, not in many pictures and ugh! I really hate when someone tags an unattractive photo of me! Thank you for putting yourself out there, mama!

  6. ashley peavey | 24th Oct 17

    Loved reading this! You are beautiful!

  7. Jasmine A | 24th Oct 17

    So inspiring here. I think so many women struggle with the way they look at themselves and this is a great read for that, thank you!

  8. Andrea | 24th Oct 17

    First: you’re beautiful. Second: I love love LOVE this true-life, common-sense statement: “…society NEEDS to keep you feeling ugly because they are always trying to sell you something to make you better.” It’s all about the money, honey. And when we realize that we are being duped into thinking that we are ‘less than’ to make the world spin faster, we can break free of that damaging road. And third: my mother taught me that nobody thinks about me as much as I think about me, and I am trying to teach my teenage daughter the same thing. It’s so important!

    • Jillian | 24th Oct 17

      YES!!! LOVE THIS. Your mama is a wise woman. <3

  9. Alyson | 24th Oct 17

    This reminds me of something my pastor said in church a few weeks back. He said the number one question that people ask themselves is “How do I look?” Appearances are everything.
    I struggle with this a lot too. I’m one of those girls that’s more laid back when it comes to fashion, hair and makeup but I still like to look good. You feel better when you feel like you look good. Silly as it all is!

  10. Jamie | 24th Oct 17

    What an inspiring post! You are beautiful inside and out. I know sometimes it’s fun to put a carefully posed picture of myself on social media to see what kind of response I get. Motivation booster. But it’s not always real. It’s also fun to see myself through my husband’s eyes. He always tells me I’m beautiful even at what I would consider least attractive. Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️❤️

  11. Taylor Boehme | 24th Oct 17

    Love this! I really like the point on people liking how you make them feel more than your looks. Beauty starts from the inside! xx

  12. dawn | 24th Oct 17

    it’s crazy how much we let peoples comments get to us about our appearance. it’s almost like it’s habit, or somehow ingrained in us to seek approval from others. it’s silly. i love everything about your valuable words.

  13. Rakhi Parsai | 25th Oct 17

    I have been one person who tries to avoid getting clicked especially when I am caught unaware. I really loved this honest post by you as this makes me also think of letting my inhibitions go and just be myself.

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *