Week 1 updates at the bottom of the post.
Have you ever hidden from cameras at outings or events because you do not want to be in photos?
Have you decided not to go to an event or outing because you don’t want other people to see you?
Has someone ever said something about your appearance, it hurt you, and you replay it over and over in your mind?
Im pretty sure every woman (and guy) has dealt with some form of the above scenarios at some time or another in their life. Some of us deal with our insecurities much more than others.
Let’s talk about the importance a lot, if not most, of us feel with being seen as pretty.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this since I am starting this journey of self-acceptance and digging deep into my own feelings.
First question to ask yourself: Do you care if someone sees you as unattractive?
My first thought is no but then I really think about it and my truthful answer is actually yes.
If I didn’t care if people, whoever they are, find me pretty then I wouldn’t cringe when someone takes my picture and worse, posts it on social media…and even worse than that, tags me! lol.
I think it’s normal to want to be attractive. The problem starts when we become affected and make choices based on the opinions of others…especially those negative opinions.
Let’s break this down to help you see why caring if someone finds you pretty or not is kinda silly.
Are you attracted to every single person you see?
Of course not. We’re all interested in different physical features and even the most beautiful celebrities aren’t attractive to everyone. It’s just not realistic to believe that every person should find you pretty.
And so I thought deeper.
Does my husband find me pretty?
Let’s put it this way, I looked like the hottest mess the other night and he was totally giving me the “let’s get to bed” vibes. lol. He thinks I am BEAUTIFUL.
And I know not everyone reading this is married or in a committed relationship but this is a valid point. If you ARE married or dating, WHY do you need people of the opposite sex to find you physically attractive?
No judgement, just asking.
Because if your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend finds you stunning, then no one else’s opinion is needed. You don’t need the validation from the men at church, your work, at the store, your guy friends, strangers on social media, etc. Same goes to you males reading this. And I believe a strong argument can be made that if you’re seeking the approval for your attractiveness in anyone other then your significant other…RED FLAG my sweet friend. That’s a sure way to get into a bad situation.
And lastly, Do you think you’re pretty?
Your answer may honestly be NO but lets break down both answers.
If you do think you’re pretty, then what’s the problem? If YOU like yourself, why do you need someone else to put their stamp of approval on you? Confidence comes from a foundation of truth. Someone’s opinion shouldn’t be able to shake that foundation so easily. Own your confidence by not allowing the fear of someone not finding you pretty hurt you. If they don’t think you’re pretty, so what?
If you honestly do not think you’re pretty…oh my sweet friend. Who told you otherwise? What hurtful words do you replay in your head that keeps you believing that you’re unattractive? Opinions do not = truth. Society may have said, on repeat, that you’re not pretty because you do not look like their standard of beauty. But let’s be real, society NEEDS to keep you feeling ugly because they are always trying to sell you something to make you better. It’s lies and it’s opinions that do not define you! FAT does not = ugly. Ha! One of the biggest lies. Fat just means fat. It means you have more weight on your body, that’s all. You still have a smile, and features that some people would LOVE to have. What are some things about your appearance that you do like?
We need to stop living our lives, making certain choices, hoping other people find us pretty.
They do or they don’t. Its nothing more than someone else’s opinion and in the end, does their opinion really really matter?
It doesn’t. It absolutely doesn’t.
Your choice to live freely and abundantly in your skin is SOOOO much more important than someone looking at you and thinking you aren’t attractive. We need to stop giving others so much power in our lives.
No more hiding from people. Wear the swimsuit, be in the picture, don’t not wear cute clothes because you’re afraid of what people will think, stop waiting for some dream weight to accept yourself, go to the party, spend time with friends, put yourself out there.
I also want to mention that I promise no one thinks about YOUR looks like you do. We can have a really bad habit of taking our own negative self-thoughts and acting like everyone else believes those same things about us. It’s not true. Don’t let your insecurities speak for other people.
And to close this…
People care more about how you make them feel. Your heart is where your beauty flows from. The prettiest woman can be seen as ugly if she has a mean and selfish character/personality.
So lets stop caring so much what other people think. Own your beauty and spend more time focusing inward. P.S. God says that thats what He focuses on anyways…1 Samuel 16:7.
WEEK 1 UPDATE.
“See ya” next Sunday for my week 2 update.