Do you date yourself? The importance of alone time.

I know, I know. You’re swamped. You’ve got deadlines, children, a husband, a full-time job, responsibilities. ALONE TIME may seem like a foreign concept to you now.

 Hear me out sweet friend.

I promise you all those things you have to get done and accomplish and work at, all those things will go so much better, be easier to tackle, and be more enjoyable if you take some time daily to have alone time with yourself. Not alone time where you’re standing in the shower and thinking about your life…I mean REAL DATE QUALITY ALONE TIME.

BUT HOW?!! you may be thinking. 

Okay first there’s the how. Sweetie, you’ve got to get up earlier. My mornings are so precious to me and P.S. it’s not selfish to block off 20-30 minutes of your day for YOU. You cannot pour from an empty glass and when you’re filling up on God’s Word (personal devotion + Jesus time), journaling (clearing your mind + organizing your thoughts), drinking coffee in the quiet morning (meditating + praying),  waking your body up (yoga + exercise)  YOU ARE FILLING UP ON GOOD THINGS. You are energizing yourself to make it through your day well.

If mornings are just IMPOSSIBLE for you to do then you have to be “selfish” and do it in the evenings…maybe you have free time in the afternoon…BLOCK OFF TIME LIKE THIS IS A MAJOR PRIORITY. (because you are a priority) MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Now date time with yourself doesn’t always have to be the things listed above, sometimes you can do special things.


My usual daily time: Still in my PJs or robe, I make some coffee and just be still. This is when I do my waking up. I pray, I journal, I look at my to-do list. It’s just my time and it’s lovely. It helps me be prepared for my day’s to-dos, my children, my husband.

Get out by yourself. I did Chinese take-out by the pool today. It was so relaxing and I got out so much thought clutter. Journaling is the best. If you haven’t ever kept a journal or just a doodle notebook to jot down thoughts, I am totally encouraging you to start. Take-out and journaling is a great combo.

Start a Netflix or Hulu series that only you watch in your alone time. I have started Gilmore Girls, after much pressure from certain girlfriends of mine, and I am loving it.

Listen to your favorite music and get creative. Sometimes my music inspires me in almost magical ways. I love to go to my bedroom, headphones in, notebook out, eyes closed, and let the creative juices flow.

Go to a movie by yourself.

Take a hot bubble bath, with scented bath salts or a bath bomb. 

Paint your nails and do a face mask while listening to Sinatra and eating donut holes. (I don’t know, this sounds awesome to me.) 


Start a devotional or read a new book. Read a chapter at a time.

Listen to a sermon on youtube. I recommend Judah Smith. 

Go get a pedicure.

Go to the salon and ask for a wash and a blow dry.

Travel your city and take interesting photos. 

There are so many fun things you can do and I pray that you make yourself a priority. Make time with God, alone, a priority. Date time with yourself is always better with Jesus. 😉 You do so much for others and in your life. You are so precious and valuable. Take care of yourself. xoxo.



  1. Samantha Erickson | 2nd Aug 17

    I love this post! It reallt is so important. I love hot baths and listening to music! Keeps me sane!!!

  2. Melissa Javan | 2nd Aug 17

    Once a year I try to go to the bloggers meetup here in Johannesburg; it’s my treat. Daily treats are reading blogs, lol, but that doesn’t really count. You so right – me-time is so important.

  3. Ayanna @ 21FlavorsofSplendor | 2nd Aug 17

    I love this!! I’m a big fan of self-care, but I never looked at it as dating myself. I love the get up early for quiet time and to take myself to lunch. But I need to be more intentional about setting dates on my calendar.

  4. Nia | 2nd Aug 17

    I totally agree that everyone needs alone time. I love to spend my time listening to music but you’ve got some great ideas that I’ve never tried before.

  5. Yen (GlossyCover) | 2nd Aug 17

    The band “Head and the Heart” have a song “Let’s Be Still” and a simple lyrical line of “Just for a moment, let’s be still.” It’s so important in our hectic lives to take some time to ourselves. Love the whole idea of “dating yourself.” Lovely article.

  6. Stephanie | 3rd Aug 17

    Yes! Alone time is so important. It’s a priority for me!

  7. Gabby | 3rd Aug 17

    These are all great tips! I’m generally always alone when my husband is at work but I think even in my introversion I forget often to stay kind to myself.

  8. Chantal | 3rd Aug 17

    This is fantastic! It’s so important to prioritise self-care and take away the guilt of it as it’s better for everyone! Thank you!! xx

  9. Roda | 3rd Aug 17

    So true, the effect it can have on your mental health and productivity is amazing x

  10. Jessica | 3rd Aug 17

    everyone definitely needs some alone time, to be with themselves. love this

  11. christa sterken | 3rd Aug 17

    Jillian, I am encouraged to get back into making self-care time a priority! I thought when we moved across the country this year, things would slow down and time would be plentiful. Especially becoming empty “nesters”, yet it seems I always find ways to add more time takers! 🙂

  12. Cyndi | 3rd Aug 17

    I love these ideas. As an introvert, my alone time is so important to keeping me in a good frame of mind. Fortunately I am blessed with a wonderful hubby who can see when I’m depleted and sends me off to recharge. Sometimes all it takes is a couple of hours with my journal, my favorite pen and the special of the day at the Barnes and Noble coffee bar.

  13. Yolanda | 3rd Aug 17

    I’m a big fan of finding alone time — quality alone time. I like to go on long walks or get a pedi to treat myself!

  14. Kelsey | 3rd Aug 17

    I love this so much!

  15. Erin Ross (erinruscel) | 3rd Aug 17

    I really loved reading this and I have found taking time for myself really helps! I would like to try and get up earlier this year and get some time for myself in He morning! I am writing some things down for myself in my planner to remind myself to do something for myself and alone!

  16. kristal | 4th Aug 17

    It is nothing better than dating youself. I llove to go to the movies on my own. I enjoy myself, then I take myself out for lunch it is always good

  17. Brittany Putman | 4th Aug 17

    I’m lucky that I have the summers off and my husband works and my baby isn’t due until November so I have plenty of free time right now. I love my alone time.

  18. Hannah | 7th Aug 17

    I almost always get up before my kids and spend time reading the Bible, praying, and drinking coffee. It definitely helps me to be a better mom and wife when I spend a little time alone.

  19. Karen | 7th Sep 17

    yes yes yes, I am such an advocate of alone time. I need just a little alone time every day to reflect and refresh!

  20. Ju | 24th Sep 17

    Honestly couldn’t agree more. Wonderful post with so much truth. I need to remind myself regularly to take a little time out to focus on myself and nothing else. Makes such a difference to quality of life 💚

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