(no more) Apologizing For Being, Growing, & Becoming

“The average personality re-shapes frequently, every few years even our bodies undergo a complete overhaul-desirable or not, it is a natural thing that we should change.” 
~Breakfast At Tiffanys

Question. Do you ever feel like you’re apologizing for who you are or who you are becoming?

Any other hands raised or is it just me?

Real talk. People can be really harsh when it comes to their opinions. A lot of people want to control you and keep you in their box of comfortable.

Not everyone understands me and I don’t fit into what every person would like my beliefs, actions, and opinions to be shaped like. Shocking, right? I’m not a cookie cutter and neither are you. God uniquely crafted each one of us to be different and to mature into better versions of ourselves. We have our own paths to take. Our adventures with Christ do not look the same and we need to stop apologizing for being our unique selves and for growing into better versions of who we are.

You see, it shouldn’t matter what people think of your choices if they’re in line with where God is leading you. And just because someone is a Christian, it doesn’t mean they have this direct insight into what’s right for YOU. In my opinion, people speak for God too often.

It hurts to be questioned and picked apart by someone on the outside. I know I’m not alone. I’ve heard friends, family, and even strangers talk about how the negative opinions of their loved ones, friends, and even other strangers affect them deeply. So deeply in fact, that they pretend, they wear a mask, they feel they cant be authentic, and some don’t want to pursue their calling. But let’s take a step back and remember truth. These people, with their negativity, cannot see directly into your most personal life and they most certainly are not having one on one discussions with the Lord about the journey He is taking you through.

Sidenote: In my experience, the people who have had the harshest opinions about me are the same people who have spent the least amount of time talking with me. Oh they’ll talk about you but these people have no interest in asking you directly what’s going on. They assume, they partake in gossip. The sad truth is that some people love to put others down to make themselves feel better in their own life. If they truly cared about you, they’d come to you directly. Remember that. 

People’s negative opinions cannot be the authority over your life.

Let’s not forget how crazy Noah’s choices looked to some people…his friends, his other family members but He was on a God given mission. Job is another example of how you cannot look into someones life and make assumptions on what’s really going on. How God is really working there. His friends, believers, made a lot of opinions and calls on Job’s situation and choices but they were wrong.

Man, we all need some more grace and less accusations, assumptions, and judgement. 

I’m becoming more of a woman who knows exactly who I am and knows who I want to continue to be. A part of that growth is this exact message. Me becoming comfortable with who I am and who I am becoming.

A sillier example, I’ll never be a woman who is into sports (unless it’s hockey). I mean, my favorite basketball player is Nathan Scott. (if you get that reference, I seriously love you. lol) I used to want to be one of those really cool girls, wearing a cute jersey, who could sit with the guys and shout things at the TV when the refs made a bad call but I’m just not. I used to feel ashamed and even loser-like when I’d hang out with certain people my husband knows (no name dropping) because I didn’t like football. I’ve even been made fun of for not understanding the rules. It hurt my feelings and made me want to change into some sports-lover. But why?! That’s giving so much control to people, who by the way, are also the same people who would never understand why I can listen to Phantom Of The Opera a million times and still cry. Not apologizing for it. Not changing. I’ll hang out in the kitchen and eat the food.

In all seriousness and to wrap this up…

Embrace your season of life, of change and of growth. Its natural to change and when we’re seeking God, there may be really hard growing pains, but go with it. Trust Him. Ignore the family members and people who love to have opinions about your life but never ask how your heart is or even just how you’re doing. People may speak for you and talk bad about you but ignore them. It’s so petty and it does not become YOUR TRUTH.

Do not apologize for being, growing, and becoming the person you’re meant to be in God. You’re an on purpose creation and God has a plan for your unique personality, gifts, and talents.

Lets focus on Jesus and seeking Him for our life. He will lead us and stretch us into becoming the people that He always purposed us to be. GRACE – NOT – PERFECTION. EMBRACE THE JOURNEY.

*picture is from the movie “Breakfast At Tiffanys.” GREAT movie about a woman who was super comfortable with just being herself but we get to watch her walls come down and grow. 

17 COMMENTS

  1. Vicki | 24th Jul 17

    Love this ❤️

  2. Alice Mills | 24th Jul 17

    Sometimes if we are the result of a crisis pregnancy, we feel that we are an inconvenience or unwanted so we apologize for being. I have had to learn to be mYself without apology: the result of a critical family. But I remind myself that Jesus made me the way I am which is affirmation indeed.

    • Jilly | 24th Jul 17

      Yes, never apologize. You’re an on purpose beautiful creation and you’re so right, Jesus affirms that!!! xo.

  3. Kate Fabian | 24th Jul 17

    I do not apologize for raising my children according to God’s command. I do not apologize for chasing my family over career. I do not apologize for choosing community of women who love Christ than spend time with former friends who don’t. I do not apologize for letting Jesus be in control of my life than handling it myself.
    Thank you Jillian! I felt another day of freedom.

  4. robin luftig | 24th Jul 17

    awesome.

  5. Rosanna@ExtraordinaryEverydayMom | 24th Jul 17

    This is a cute post! It is so important to recognize that God didn’t create us to be like anyone else. He created us to be who he created us to be.

  6. Keri | 24th Jul 17

    Amen grace not perfection! Learning to embrace myself has been so freeing!

  7. Tammy | 24th Jul 17

    Woohoo ! You keep telling it girlfriend in Christ ! My spirit was encouraged. Thank you.

  8. Annette | 24th Jul 17

    Jillian you just described a huge chunk of my life, and I’m grateful that over the past several years God has slowly been showing me how to trust Him and value what He thinks of me over what others think or expect. Each sentence you wrote rings with truth.

  9. D at Be you and thrive | 24th Jul 17

    Jillian, what a beautiful post! Yes, our life is so short and quite frankly, if those we surround ourselves by are not allowing us to be the unique individuals that we are, we should rethink our relationship with them. Growing and becoming is a lifelong process. It’s hard enough to be confident in all that God has given us, none-the-less lean forward into our gifts and talents. Becoming is a everyday practice! xo~ D http://www.beyouandthrive.com/thriveblog

  10. Jill | 24th Jul 17

    Excellent post

  11. Tosin Moji | 24th Jul 17

    Sis! This is the story of my life. Always being misunderstood. The way I look at it is that Jesus was misunderstood so I’m in good company! Life is a journey. We are always growing and becoming a better version of ourself. Too often people like to judge us by our past but we have to rise above that. Keep on growing. It looks good on you 🙂

  12. Rachael | 24th Jul 17

    Oh Jillian, this is so good! You are right on. This past weekend I was challenged about my fear of looking foolish. I struggle with craving the approval of other (constantly keeping it in check), and because of this I attempt to always have my act together. But the gospel is foolish to those who don’t believe. So why should I fear? I should EXPECT to appear foolish!!

    • Jilly | 24th Jul 17

      Such a good point Rachael!! We shouldn’t fit in with this world. Something I need to remember myself. xo!

  13. Erin | 25th Jul 17

    I enjoyed reading this! Thank you for writing so openingly and free! I feel like that is definitely he case with many people… I also think it depends on your age too! I used to care so much more, but now I don’t care as much about it! I know who I am throw and in Christ and that is what matters to me. Thanks for your uplifting post and for living for our Lord!

  14. Melissa Javan | 25th Jul 17

    “Go with the growing pains” -I will try to remember this. Thank you.

  15. Melissa Javan | 25th Jul 17

    “Go with the growing pains,” I will try to remember that. Sjoe!
    Thank you for this post.

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